Not infrequently, Evil Dictator Number Two turned out to be waiting in the wings and when the better-known bad guy croaked, Evil Dictator Version 2.1 was right there, ready to take his place, and conditions locally didn’t noticeably improve.It got kind of frustrating, really. I knew I was doing something “good,” or trying to, but the hard evidence of my success wasn’t always clear, even weeks after the event.And all that research! It was hard work, I’ll tell you. Granted, it was educational. I knew a helluva lot more about world affairs and the intricacies of international relations than I’d ever known before. Unfortunately, I didn’t find that doing all that research was itself fascinating. In fact, it was boring as hell.So after awhile I got to thinking. I wondered if maybe I could come up with a more efficient way to rid the world of bad people. Maybe I couldn’t give Barbara Walters a nosebleed on national television, but what if I could come up with a way of killing off reprobates. We were quiet for a few minutes, but then, Ellen finally opened her mouth and spoke: Lara, I need your advice. I dont know who else to ask and I need help badly. What is it sweetie? I asked, still wearing nothing but a towel. Well, its hard to explain really, she said. I met this guy. And were gonna have sex and Im still a virgin. I see… Well whats the problem in that, actually? Im scared, you know… she said quietly, like there was anyone around to hear that, but me. You should loose your virginity wih someone you really trust, I said, and smiled at her. She looked at me with her lovely blue eyes. Someone like…? I noticed the great opportunity. Me, I finished the sentence. Ellen looked confused. But… I mean… Youre a girl… And? Ive already had sex wih women before. And you trust me. Its easiest to get experience with someone you trust, and then, the next time with that boy, it will go easier. She still didnt look, nor sound too sure. I dont know… Just relax. Let me lead you, I said,.
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